E. Macmillan ([info]prefectlyernie) wrote,
@ 2005-11-19 15:21:00
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Current mood: mischievous

I was having a game chess with a second year, who put up an admirable fight despite being obviously awed by his opponent, and the pleasant lull of victory and the warmth of the Hufflepuff common room caused me to drift into a melancholy sort of mind.

We're rather lucky, aren't we? That we're wizards at all is, of course, quite wonderful, but even more especially when you consider the fine institution we inhabit. Errors made by the administration aside, we're still kept safe from the outside threat of Dark wizards, winter chill and the prospect of menial labour for a wage. Even the classes are often interesting, and though we're all swamped with work and revision for NEWTs, it's a generally fine way to spend the larger part of our younger years. We are, all of us, too concerned with the insignificant irritations that such a life is tainted by to truly appreciate the positive side of it all.

But then I remembered that I have to share a castle with Slytherins, Peeves, numerous Weasleys and Goyle, and I decided that those irritations were indeed quite troubling and could not be overlooked. Ah, for the day when I shall become Headmaster; I'll shape the school up, and only accept students deemed worthy. No longer will there there be unfounded arrogance, pupils singled out as inferior and certainly not any of the prejudice as is so prevalant among certain people.

It is a contenting thought, is it not?




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[info]mouldytailcoat
2005-11-19 09:23 am UTC (link)


Oh, so it's Headmaster for you, then? Nothing doing with any other more interesting and less stressful professions, straight to the top of the pile! And then they'll all pay, won't they?

It all sounds fine and dandy at this stage, but when you've finally got a plan together and your fully-automatic hex launcher arrives, You-Know-What will decide to kill a countryfull of people and your little revenge plan goes right down the pisser.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-19 01:49 pm UTC (link)
YES.

FILCH PLANS TO BECOME HEADMASTER ONE DAY.

HE'S JUST WORKING HIS WAY FROM THE BOTTOM UP, IS ALL.

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[info]hufflepuff4life
2005-11-20 06:14 pm UTC (link)
I still am going to kill you for the Parkinson comment, but I have to admit that pumpkin juice came squirting from my nose when I read that.

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[info]mouldytailcoat
2005-11-21 08:40 am UTC (link)


No, you git. Revenge is a dish best served with kippers, I always say, and those festering gob-chompers in Magical R&D would have had another thing coming if You-Guess-What hadn't blown his deformed id all over the newspapers that very morning. Is what I'm saying.

But Headmaster? Of course I am. If you can't outwit or defeat your opponent, then you've got to outlast. Once Headmaster Dumbledore goes to the big painting on the wall, I'll have a clean shot.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-21 08:42 pm UTC (link)
IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO TRAGIC IF FOR ONCE YOU ACTUALLY ANSWERED SOMETHING COMPREHENSIBLY.

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[info]mouldytailcoat
2005-11-22 08:59 am UTC (link)


Comprehensibility is something you're familiar with, Potter? Since when? I'd like to mark it on my calendar.


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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-22 05:04 pm UTC (link)
YES, NOVEMBER 22ND. DAY OF KENNEDY'S ASSASSINATION, DAY HARRY DANGER POTTER POINTED OUT THAT FILCH WAS AN IDIOT.

OF COURSE,THE LATTER COULD BE ALL THE OTHER 364 DAYS OF THE YEAR (365 ON LEAP YEAR), WHEREAS A KENNEDY WAS ASSASSINATED ON ONLY 182 OTHER DAYS ON THE CALENDAR.

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[info]prefectlyernie
2005-11-21 08:31 am UTC (link)
Well, first I'll get Healer's Certification from St. Mungo's, of course, and spend a while there. Helping people out is my first intention, you know.

Still, as admirable and joyful as it can be to save one's life it will surely get tiring after some amount of time, and I can't find a reason why not to try for the 'top of the pile', as you say! The prestige, as well as the adeptitude required, suits me quite well I think.

I'd add a room in a remote part of the castle designed just for late night dalliances. It's tiresome to trip over people snogging in every halfway-hidden nook the castle has to offer, not to mention surely unsafe.

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[info]mouldytailcoat
2005-11-21 08:46 am UTC (link)


The Potter lass is right - you've got a swollen head and no mistake. Headmaster needs to be wise in the ways of the Muggle world as well as the Wizarding world. I suppose you've got yourself decades of experience on that point, right?

What was that? No? Well, then. I shouldn't have to worry about you after all.

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[info]prefectlyernie
2005-11-21 08:51 am UTC (link)
Why, should I want to I'm sure that I could rule over the Muggle world just as well!

Besides, I already stated my intention to spend time learning elsewhere before applying for the position. It's not hurtful to look ahead, even several years, is it?

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[info]mouldytailcoat
2005-11-21 09:12 am UTC (link)

Yes, yes. I'm sure you could.


No, not hurtful. Being realistic never killed anyone, though.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-22 04:56 pm UTC (link)
YEAH. FILCH FOR HEADMASTER. THAT'LL BE A MILLION DOLLAR CAMPAIGN, LIKE BOB DOLE FOR PRESIDENT.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-19 01:46 pm UTC (link)
WOW, YOU REALLY ARE AN ASS, AREN'T YOU?

AND ANYWAY, NO, WE'RE ALL COMPLETELY SAFE AT HOGWARTS. NO DARK WIZARD THREATS AT ALL. JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX. IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE SO STUPID AS DRACO MALFOY IS GOING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY THAT DEATH EATERS CAN COME IN AND TRY TO TAKE OVER THE CASTLE, EVEN IF IT TURNS OUT DUMBLEDORE ISN'T DEAD.

BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH, EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE HAS ANY IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. SO YOU SLEEP SAFE AT NIGHT, ERNIE, BUT REMEMBER...THEY'RE WATCHING YOU!!!

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[info]paparazzi_colin
2005-11-19 04:14 pm UTC (link)
Wait a second, whose Draco Malfoy???

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-19 09:14 pm UTC (link)
HA HA HA, BUT I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT ONE TWICE.

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[info]prefectlyernie
2005-11-21 08:35 am UTC (link)
Of course Malfoy wouldn't be clever enough for something like that, Potter, so why do you mention it??

They are not. I have thirty-two spells placed upon my person at all times to ward off anybody who might be trying to surreptitiously spy on me. I have to wake up an hour early every day to cast them, but it's worth it for my privacy!

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-21 08:34 pm UTC (link)
I SWEAR IT HAPPENED, EVEN IF IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! WHY THE HELL AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS TO REMEMBER THESE THINGS?

I SWEAR IF I EVER FIGURE OUT HOW TO ACTUALLY KILL VOLDEMORT, I WILL DO IT, BECAUSE THAT BASTARD MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD...KILL HIM. THAT BASTARD.

ANYWAY, MY POINT IS, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SPYING ON YOU BEFORE YOU PUT THE SPELLS ON, OR, BETTER YET, THE PEOPLE WHO'VE DISCOVERED ICICLE'S VIDEO CAMERA?

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[info]waitingfortom
2005-11-19 01:49 pm UTC (link)
But it IS prejudice to single some people out as "worthy" and not others! You just want to institute a new KIND of prejudice!

I almost died here. Yeah, totally safe.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-19 09:15 pm UTC (link)
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.

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[info]prefectlyernie
2005-11-21 08:37 am UTC (link)
But mine would be the right kind!

And that's what you get for playing with obviously unsafe magical artifacts. Someone could fall off the staircases, couldn't they? But that doesn't mean it's not a most basic expectation that the students are smart enough to avoid it.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-21 08:40 pm UTC (link)
OH GOSH, AND HERE I WAS, ALL WORRIED THAT, IN THE EVENT THAT EVERYONE WHO COULD POSSIBLY HEAD HOGWARTS DIED (IN OTHER WORDS, PRETTY MUCH EVERY TEACHER AND EVERY STUDENT SIMULTANEOUSLY), YOU WOULD RULE IT WITH THE WRONG KIND OF PREJUDICE.

SILLY ME.

DON'T WORRY, GUYS, IT'S COOL. ERNIE WILL MAKE SURE HE LORDS OVER HOGWARTS WITH HIS IRON FIST OF FLUFFY PINK BUNNIES AND JUSTICE (COUSIN TO SOME GUY CALLED HITLER'S IRON FIST OF COTTON CANDY AND LOLLIPOPS, AND KIN TO NAPOLEON'S IRON FIST OF BABY CHEEKS AND DANDELIONS). DON'T WORRY--HE'S SAID SO.

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[info]lookscomefirst
2005-11-19 04:09 pm UTC (link)
Oh Ernie your dedication is almost as admirable as your stunning smile!

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[info]drunkirishdude
2005-11-19 11:23 pm UTC (link)
...would we really describe that as stunning??

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[info]lookscomefirst
2005-11-20 12:15 am UTC (link)
Seamus with that strong handsome jaw of yours there is NO need for you to be jealous!

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[info]drunkirishdude
2005-11-20 12:26 am UTC (link)
.........wait, say again???

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[info]lookscomefirst
2005-11-20 12:44 am UTC (link)
Your jaw Seamus! it's very masculine and strong, if you weren't always threatening me I would have considered snogging you for that aspect alone.

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[info]drunkirishdude
2005-11-20 09:01 am UTC (link)
I.... you..... snogging.....

whaaaaaaaaaa???

this has never happened!!



Urp.


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[info]ur_so_vane
2005-11-20 11:54 am UTC (link)
I hate it when people collapse in the middle of hallways! It makes so much noise, not to mention it's very rude.

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[info]cleverlyanthony
2005-11-20 03:33 pm UTC (link)
I'm afraid random bouts of unconsciousness can happen with too much alcoholic intake, Finnigan. I don't think Parvati enticing you helped that any, to be honest.

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[info]prefectlyernie
2005-11-21 08:38 am UTC (link)
Thank you, Patil. Your validation is pleasing.

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[info]no_opinion
2005-11-21 10:46 am UTC (link)
I hope you said that because you're being formal about her last name, not because you can't tell that she's herself and not me.

Do you even know which House she's in? Or which House I'm in?

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[info]lookscomefirst
2005-11-21 03:22 pm UTC (link)
Finally some recognition.

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[info]cleverlyanthony
2005-11-20 03:34 pm UTC (link)
Did you just manage to contradict your beliefs in a matter of three paragraphs, Macmillan?

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[info]no_opinion
2005-11-20 04:08 pm UTC (link)
It's quite astonishing, isn't it?

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[info]prefectlyernie
2005-11-21 08:42 am UTC (link)
Oh, Anthony, I was only giving people like the littlest Weasley what they expect of me! Note the obvious facetiousness with which I imbued every word.

I could never sound so delusional as that.

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[info]cleverlyanthony
2005-11-21 01:45 pm UTC (link)
What does Ginny Weasley expect from you? For you to refuse admission for any of her future children and their descendants because... she's a Weasley?

If you insist, Ernie, if you insist.

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[info]hufflepuff4life
2005-11-20 06:15 pm UTC (link)
Ernie, there's nothing automatically bad about Slytherins.

I'm rather partial to some of them, you know.

Well, one, at least.

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[info]prefectlyernie
2005-11-21 08:43 am UTC (link)
I was only joking, Justin, I know not all of them are bad. Yours in particular has grown on me, as loath as I am to admit it.

They're still mostly tossers, though.

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[info]shouldteachdada
2005-11-21 09:11 am UTC (link)
15 points from...whatever House you're in, I can't remember at the moment.

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[info]no_opinion
2005-11-21 10:46 am UTC (link)
He's a Hufflepuff, sir.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-21 08:36 pm UTC (link)
YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD HIM HE WAS FROM SLYTHERIN. THAT WOULD'VE BEEN HILARIOUS. '500 POINTS FROM WHICHEVER HOUSE YOU'RE IN BECAUSE I AM A SYNECDOUCHE!' AND BAM! SUDDENLY HE FINDS OUT THAT HE IS SUCH A SYNECDOUCHE THAT HE'S ACTUALLY JUST TAKEN 500 POINTS FROM HIS OWN HOUSE FOR HIS SYNECDOUCHEBAGGERY!

IT WOULD'VE BEEN HILARIOUS, IF YOU'D ONLY SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE ON THE RARE OCCASION, MISS SUDDENLY OVERACTIVE COMMENTER.

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[info]no_opinion
2005-11-21 08:58 pm UTC (link)
I don't think I do hilarity, Harry. That would've been a lie, and lying is wrong.

Synecdouche? Is that a cleansing device for figures of speech? That was surprisingly witty of you.

25 points for Gryffindor, if you actually meant it.

I'm hardly overactive. Look at Colin, or Ginny. Don't they talk much more?

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-21 09:02 pm UTC (link)
YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY DID MEAN IT, AND I'D GIVE YOU 25 POINTS FOR RECOGNISING THAT FACT, IF I COULD GIVE YOU POINTS, WHICH I CAN'T, BECAUSE APPARENTLY I ALREADY HAD QUITE ENOUGH TO BE GETTING ON WITH OR SOMETHING.

ANYWAY, IT'S NOT LIKE THEY SUDDENLY ROSE FROM OBSCURITY AND STARTED POSTING THAT FREQUENTLY.

PLUS, GINNY IS A FREAK, AND, WELL, COLIN...YOU KNOW.

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[info]no_opinion
2005-11-21 09:06 pm UTC (link)
I'm impressed, Harry. Let's make it 45 points for you, then, for the nice comment.

What do you mean? Did you want to be a prefect?

I needed some time to find myself, Harry. Am I allowed time for introspection? And now that I've done so much of it, can't I be more social?

As for them. Yes, well. Yes.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-21 09:27 pm UTC (link)
NO, NO, I'M FINE WITH NOT BEING A PREFECT. PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT. IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME AT ALL, NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST, AND IT NEVER DID. NOT ONCE. EVER.

I MEAN...WHY WOULD IT? IT SHOULDN'T. IT DIDN'T!

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[info]no_opinion
2005-11-22 06:05 am UTC (link)
Oh dear. Know that it's hard to save the world if you have to keep an eye on other students.

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[info]potter_mouth
2005-11-22 04:57 pm UTC (link)
I'M SURE YOU KNOW, HAVING TRIED SO MANY TIMES YOURSELF.

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[info]no_opinion
2005-11-22 06:47 pm UTC (link)
But I have two years' previous experience as a prefect, and I can tell you it takes a lot of time that I imagine you don't have.

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