Current mood:

confused

It is boring at the Castle. I've sequestered myself within its bowels, far away from the endless supply of visitors. Thusly, I have had cause to ponder.

The NEWTs, formerly such a paradigm of wizard schooling, were seen fit by the Powers That (Should Bloody Well Not) Be to be made a mockery. I am certain that you will recall how traumatised I was left, in their wake. I've found myself examining these circumstances, but the conclusions drawn do not match up with what I previously had known.

I have cultivated a certain image to present the world with, throughout my life; stoic, cultured, pleasant, and honourable. From a young age, I was taught to project an aura of quiet confidence, and to regard peers and and inferiors alike with compassion and respect. I wish to believe that I retain these virtues at all times, however I must admit that my morals have been shaken irrevocably.

Sometimes, you will be assailed by unexpected shifts in the world, and in yourself. They offer no warning, but abruptly alter the course of your very existence. Such an occurrence as this were those dreadful exams, where I was at once forced to confront a sudden change and judged unfairly for it. How could I have expected something so wholly unforeseen?

Nobody could have predicted such a turn of events, not even themost gifted Seers of all ages. It goes against everything that had been Fated, since my very conception, and has left very little of the stability by which my life is defined.

The ramifications are irresolute, and unfathomable. I have not discussed the matter with my family; indeed, I have hardly seen them at all, between my own isolation and their various retreats. It is entirely possible that I never shall, and therefore, I turn to the many friends I've made at Hogwarts to relinquish some of my burden.

So, I think I might be gay.